Trusting Her Timing

I’m learning to leave my worries with God while understanding that the action and effort is up to me.

The saying, “Let go and let God.” We must truly break down this meaning to our youth for no one broke it down clearly to me. There is such erudition in understanding that we must let go of our worries, struggles, doubts, and and form of negativity to God. For she will do her part. But we can not ask God to help up make it to the top of the mountain if we are not willing to climb.

Prayer + Faith + Effort + Will + Patience = Blessings in its most raw form

I am understanding that there can be no missing links in this equation. Additionally, I do not choose the timing of my blessings. I CANNOT ask God to put a move on it to answer my questions or to give me guidance to my pondering.

Our lives are already destined. Whatever our hearts are set on, whatever our goals, they are already ours. But what matters is the effort we put into them and allowing God’s timer to go off.

I once felt God was testing me harder than I deserved. It was like she felt I was stronger than I truly was. Wellllllllll let me tell you, silly me! Reflection made me realize that she was testing me at all. She was simply telling me that I can endure anything. The opportunities she gave to me and removed were not to tease, but to show me that I had the ability and will to get that far but that opportunity was not truly for me.

“You have to accept your fate; do it without bitterness and stay humble.”

Anthony Scaramucci

Humble was nowhere to be found in my body. Bitterness was all I knew at that point. My God does not believe in bitterness. However, my universe continues to turn. Time and patience taught me that bitterness will consume me to a point where that is all I will ever know.

Truthfully, I don’t know how that equation fell into my lap but once I applied it to my life, the universe exploded to recreate itself for me. I saw God smile at me. I felt the joy from my ancestors through my bones. I loved myself for my ambition.

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Hi God,

I just want to say thank you blessing myself, family, friends, and people I don’t know with the opportunity to open our eyes to see a new day. You blessed us with the opportunity to be a better us today than we were yesterday. I ask that you guide us that we are able to fulfill that opportunity.

I ask that today is a positive day for us all. That we love, we are loved, set goals, achieve goals, we smile, laugh, and give off the same positivity that we receive. I ask that you guide us all to know that your love for us is much stronger than the devil’s hate can ever be.

I just want to say thank you for all of my blessings, they never go unappreciated. I ask that you forgive me for my ignorance and arrogance when I do not understand that you are working on blessings when things are not going my way. I thank you for your patience and unconditional love. I ask that you continue to guide me in the right direction of the success of my life in every aspect. I ask that you continue to guide me to make the right decisions for now, the future, myself, and those in my life.

I ask that you continue to watch over my family, friends, and I that you protect us from all hurt, harm, disease, or perils of being the world.

I love you

(Kiss)

Amen.

I AM READY FOR LOVE

I am ready to allow myself to be loved unconditionally.

I deserve the love I seek. There are no expectations to receive this type of love from anyone but myself.

Not to be misunderstood, I have given myself love and affection. But I have not given myself the love I DESERVE. I deserve to smile 24/7 until my cheeks cramp up. Laugh until I am gasping for air with tears rolling down my face and people think I need medical help. Dance until my legs are numb. Sing loves songs to myself, allowing myself to believe I have the voice of H.E.R. Allow my heart to melt within itself when I think of me.

A love like this does exist and I will hand it over to myself, wrapped neatly with sunflower bows on top.

I am allowing myself to love my awkwardness. The fact that I talk too much and don’t all at once. Love that I am a afrofuturist that loves to wear sweats everyday, listen to trap music while meditating and doing yoga, laugh at myself when I am alone, give my all in everything that I do, demand respect from anyone that enters my circle of life, talk to myself, have goals higher than one could ever think of, think too deeply into everything, learning how to handle my emotions, and that my flaws are my best qualities because they’re not truly flaws at all.

The world doesn’t revolve around me but my world does.
This is not to disregard the existence of others or to give all my love to myself only.

“They say true love’s the greatest weapon”

-Beyoncé

No one can ever love me the way I do. For they don’t understand me like I do.

And that, I am okay with.

I am ready for love.

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Queen on Queens; Queen on!

◊ Queen Bri ◊