Free Fall of Faith

You know the saying, “leap of faith,” right?

Well my experience was indeed a “free fall of faith.”

I was completely unhappy with my career, to the point of straight misery and anxiety when thinking of it. I stuck with it for 9 months when I knew week 1 that, this was not going to be a pleasurable experience.

Not to get into the details of things, but nonetheless, I left my job. My first full-time career after college, full health benefits, good pay.

Did I mention, I left without having another job?

I found myself turning down interviews because my current job demanded so much of my time, I couldn’t make the interviews. I also told my parents the day before my last day of work.

The awkwardness of sitting at the dinner table after letting them know. My dad completely silent. My mom starting into my soul. But then the reaction I received was relieving. They explained they trusted my decision as long as I thought about it and while I had the opportunity to do so.

I then got a job and with one of my old companies that I love sooo much. It was such a family just like I remember with the company but at a different property.

But then it happened.

The opportunity I’ve been waiting for and praying for. I applied for this company months back and got turned down but asked to come back for a new property opening up with the company. It was a 2 day process. Day 1, you were informed if you were invited back for interviews. I was invited back and then towards the end of day 2 they started calling names, mine was not called. But then they gave those remaining another task, put together a puzzle. The puzzle said, “hired!”

I kept my cool, but that night all I did was cry and smile, smile and cry. To think I took such a free fall by trusting in myself and my gut.

This is just to say, being 20 in this world now is HARDDDDDD. You feel as though you are suppose to have it all together while living your best life.  Just know you got this Queens! Trust your intuition and have faith in yourself; whatever your dreams are, no matter how far fetched they seem to look like, go for it!

Queen on Queens; Queen on!

◊ Queen Bri ◊

Trusting Her Timing

I’m learning to leave my worries with God while understanding that the action and effort is up to me.

The saying, “Let go and let God.” We must truly break down this meaning to our youth for no one broke it down clearly to me. There is such erudition in understanding that we must let go of our worries, struggles, doubts, and and form of negativity to God. For she will do her part. But we can not ask God to help up make it to the top of the mountain if we are not willing to climb.

Prayer + Faith + Effort + Will + Patience = Blessings in its most raw form

I am understanding that there can be no missing links in this equation. Additionally, I do not choose the timing of my blessings. I CANNOT ask God to put a move on it to answer my questions or to give me guidance to my pondering.

Our lives are already destined. Whatever our hearts are set on, whatever our goals, they are already ours. But what matters is the effort we put into them and allowing God’s timer to go off.

I once felt God was testing me harder than I deserved. It was like she felt I was stronger than I truly was. Wellllllllll let me tell you, silly me! Reflection made me realize that she was testing me at all. She was simply telling me that I can endure anything. The opportunities she gave to me and removed were not to tease, but to show me that I had the ability and will to get that far but that opportunity was not truly for me.

“You have to accept your fate; do it without bitterness and stay humble.”

Anthony Scaramucci

Humble was nowhere to be found in my body. Bitterness was all I knew at that point. My God does not believe in bitterness. However, my universe continues to turn. Time and patience taught me that bitterness will consume me to a point where that is all I will ever know.

Truthfully, I don’t know how that equation fell into my lap but once I applied it to my life, the universe exploded to recreate itself for me. I saw God smile at me. I felt the joy from my ancestors through my bones. I loved myself for my ambition.

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Hi God,

I just want to say thank you blessing myself, family, friends, and people I don’t know with the opportunity to open our eyes to see a new day. You blessed us with the opportunity to be a better us today than we were yesterday. I ask that you guide us that we are able to fulfill that opportunity.

I ask that today is a positive day for us all. That we love, we are loved, set goals, achieve goals, we smile, laugh, and give off the same positivity that we receive. I ask that you guide us all to know that your love for us is much stronger than the devil’s hate can ever be.

I just want to say thank you for all of my blessings, they never go unappreciated. I ask that you forgive me for my ignorance and arrogance when I do not understand that you are working on blessings when things are not going my way. I thank you for your patience and unconditional love. I ask that you continue to guide me in the right direction of the success of my life in every aspect. I ask that you continue to guide me to make the right decisions for now, the future, myself, and those in my life.

I ask that you continue to watch over my family, friends, and I that you protect us from all hurt, harm, disease, or perils of being the world.

I love you

(Kiss)

Amen.