Self reflection, self growth and self healing are all things we have time for during these quarantine days. But today we are going to talk about healing, which has many different steps. One step that seems to always be brought up is forgiveness.
“Forgive but never forget.”
“You must forgive to move on.”
“Forgiveness is for you, not for them.”
“Forgiveness is a sense of power.”
“Forgivesness is needed to heal.”
Let me tell you, Forgiveness is not a healing requirement! Let me shout it again for the people in the back. FORGIVENESS IS NOT A HEALING REQUIREMENT!!!
Sometimes people and situations don’t deserve your forgiveness, it’s as simple as that. That does not make you bitter, childish, or immature. It’s okay to hear someone’s apology and to not accept it. It’s okay to not forgive them and move on living your life lavishly. Forgiveness and happiness are not always synonymous.
I don’t know, maybe it’s the Capricorn in me or maybe it’s just plain me. Yes I agree, everyone deserves a second chance. But depending on the extent of the situation, they just deserve a second chance from someone else. Period.
Here’s a stinger, sometimes you’re not always going to be able to forgive yourself. And that is okay. We all have done or will do some things that we just cannot believe. Some of those things, unfortunately, will be unforgivable in our own eyes. I believe that we can still heal from those events by simply acknowledging them. Acknowledge your actions, apologize to yourself, and keep pushing. Now I am not saying it won’t hurt, or you won’t still think about it constantly but don’t beat at yourself too much. What’s done is done. Focus on what you have control over, your future.
But hold on to your, “It’s okay. I forgive you.” Save it for those that deserve it, and everybody just don’t deserve it.